Recovery First: Are You So Busy Getting Through Life That You're Missing the Joy of Living It?
I've been thinking a lot about recovery lately.
Partly because I've just had another operation on my foot which I damaged when I fell off the mountain (almost 5 years ago). My body has made it abundantly clear that it has its own ideas about what I should and shouldn't be doing right now!
Being a little quieter than normal as I heal, has reminded me of something I spend much of my professional life helping people understand.
Recovery isn't only something we only do after an injury, illness or breakdown. It's something we need to build into the way we live. Every day. Are you listening in to what your body is telling you?
Perhaps you're tired all the time. You're not sleeping properly. Your back hurts. Your mind races. You're anxious, irritable or struggling to concentrate.
Maybe you no longer have the energy to exercise, see friends, enjoy intimacy or do the things that used to bring you pleasure.
But you keep going. Trucking forward. Pushing through.
People need you. There are responsibilities, deadlines, bills to pay and plans to fulfil.
So, you tell yourself:
I'm fine.
I'll deal with it next week.
I just need a holiday. Christmas and the break that goes with it is coming soon.
Everyone's tired. It's normal.
Sometimes we don't even realise what we've lost because it's happened so gradually.
A little less energy. A little less patience. A little less joy. Almost no laughter.
Until the life we're working so hard to maintain is no longer a life we're fully enjoying.
Find the cause beneath the cause
One of the foundations of my Recovery First work is learning to look for the cause beneath the cause.
If you're exhausted, why are you exhausted?
Perhaps you're not sleeping enough. But why aren't you sleeping?
Maybe you're carrying anxiety, living with pain, struggling with boundaries or continually saying yes when you need to say no. There may also be medical reasons that need appropriate assessment and treatment.
The point is to get curious and explore.
Your body isn't your enemy. It's been working tirelessly to keep you going. Pain, fatigue, tension and emotional discomfort can be valuable signals that something needs your focused attention.
Recovery First is about learning to notice those signals, acknowledging what's happening, exploring what's underneath and choosing actions that genuinely support your recovery and reclaim what you have somehow lost.
Sometimes that means rest, if you have lost vitality. Sometimes movement if you have lost flexibility, treatment, if you have lost pain free living, a difficult conversation if peace and harmony is what you’ve lost, setting a boundary if you have lost the feeling of having to cope or making a decision you've been avoiding.
And sometimes it means asking for help.
It's not a once-off fix. It's an ongoing practice of listening, choosing, acting and checking in again.
You don't have to force yourself to be positive, which is something else I feel strongly about.
We've become really good at telling ourselves, and each other, to be positive.
Look on the bright side. Be grateful. Think happy thoughts.
And while gratitude and optimism are wonderful, telling yourself to be positive when you're exhausted, anxious, grieving or overwhelmed can become another way of overriding what you're actually experiencing.
You can acknowledge what's difficult while still allowing space for hope, pleasure, curiosity and possibility.
My wish is that you become more aware of your own needs, learn to regulate your nervous system better and address what is depleting you. The outcome of this will be more room for genuine calm, energy and enjoyment.
Not forced positivity. More opportunity for pleasure and joy.
There is no single route to recovery
That's why I've developed different ways of working with me which are all grounded in Recovery First.
My Nervous System Regulation Through Mindfulness Course helps people understand their stress responses and develop practical tools for everyday life.
Nervous System Reboot, Recharge & Re-regulate combines this learning with personalised coaching and ongoing support over three months.
Safe Together, Stronger in the World helps couples build a relationship in which they can feel safe, connected and supported.
And my Endless Energy Program takes a comprehensive, personalised approach to wellbeing, using an Energy Audit across 11 interconnected domains of wellbeing, to identify where attention and change are most needed.
As I sit here with my recovering foot, I want to say to you: don’t take care of yourself to become more productive or achieve more. Do it to have the calm, energy, freedom and joy to really live while you are alive.
So, you can laugh, love, explore, connect and meet life's challenges with resilience. While still having room for the wonderful, unpredictable adventure of being alive.
Recovery First is about reclaiming more of your life.
Reclaim what you sacrificed because you didn't know there was another way.
With love
Sue
If something I've written resonates with you, you're welcome to reach out. I'd love to help you explore what putting your own Recovery First might look like. And I do this work for corporates too, if it's your team it resonated for.
076 147 0004
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